When I woke up again at two in the morning, I asked God why He loved me. He knew all my sins; He knew that I had broken all the Commandments and that I am still working every day not to sin. Why, Lord, do You love me? The Holy Spirit reminded me of John 3:16: God so lovedthe world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life. (John 3:16 World English Bible, emphasis added) 

Then I knew: We all have needs. So, what were my needs?

To be valued

To have security 

To be accepted

To feel connected

To be loved 

Maybe not in that order.

Lord, why do You love me? I feel shame and fear. 

How does He value me? Genesis 1:27 tells me that I am created in God’s image. What a treasure this is — contrary to the lie I believed that no one treasured me.

How can I have security in an unstable world? The world tells me that I am neglected and that I have no reason to feel safe. In Hebrews 13:5, I am told that He will never forsake me. Talk about security. Come on, somebody!

The world tells me I am no longer acceptable. In Romans 8:1, I am told that there is no condemnation in Christ. So, He accepts me as I am. 

What about connection? I have felt abandoned since my parents gave me to our neighbors at age fifteen. John 14:20 tells me that He lives in me and I in Him. Talk about feeling connected.

Do I have a purpose?  I now know with certainty that the answer is YES!

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,” says Yahweh, “thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future. You shall call on me, and you shall go and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You shall seek me, and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” says Yahweh, “and I will turn again your captivity, and I will gather you from all the nations, and from all the places where I have driven you, says Yahweh. I will bring you again to the place from where I caused you to be carried away captive.”  Jeremiah 29: 11-13

God has provided me with a great community of believers, and I am incredibly blessed.   You will see that I mentioned a cup of tea several times.  The reason for this is the following.  Several times a week I have the honor and privilege to have breakfast at our local Chick-Fil-A.  There was a manager there who I would ask how he was doing?  He would share a little… the next visit he would ask what my background was.  I shared a little.  Then as time went on I asked “ How is your cup of tea today?”  He understood, was his cup empty, full, hot, or cold? Was the cup broken, cracked, or well-placed on a saucer? 

We were reminded of the scripture below. 

“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” Psalm 23:5

What if our enemies have been invited to the table with us? What if God wants them present to see the anointing He has placed on our lives as a living testimony to His love and faithfulness? What if He wants us both there together to bring His peace? I’ve always pictured the enemy on the outskirts of my feast, but perhaps the Father in His wisdom and mercy would rather them sit at the table with us. Perhaps some will only come when provoked by jealousy. (I’m speaking of natural enemies here – not demonic presences.) What if He wants us to provide for them out of the overflow of our cup?

Talk about finally figuring out why He loves me. If He loves me, I can learn to love myself and then others. Thank you, Abba, Father. 

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